All I want is a break for once. Trying to be more serious in school to graduate a year behind and work long hours to earn some money where I don’t have to ask my parents for money anymore and I am just so stressed and tired. I dont want to do anything but study and do homework because if I don’t stay on top of my work I am sure to just crumble and fuck up this whole semester. 6 classes is really tough and i seriously am shocked at how good my grades are right now. I just want to be able to go out and have fun, but I know I can’t because if I push off assignments I’m just gonna make the same mistake I made my freshman and sophmore year. I just feel like I’m pushing everyone away and avoiding anything that will make me procrastinate and I can’t help it. I am sorry for it, but I just can’t manage to balance everything at the moment. To top this all off I could have lost two of my brothers within 2 weeks and that has really effected me negatively already. All I want to do is go hang out with them and hug them and tell them that even though I am really distant most of the time, I really care and love them and I would be destroyed if they were both gone. My whole life would be empty.
I just can’t wait for a break.